Ahhh... We meet again my friends. Glad that you could make it. Ready for an update? Good, then here we goooooooo........
I knew the Dutch were a tall bunch. But WOW, they are giants. I feel like one of the 7 Dwarfs, probably Sleepy after this continuous assualt of all night parties. Anyhow, after much research and consultation i've found out why they are indeed very tall. Here is my best explanation:
"It comes from the fact that most of the country is under sea level and so when everything does indeed go 'tits-up' and water starts pouring in from left, right and centre, then only the tallest ones will survive as they are the only ones who will be able to stick their necks up above the water level. Due to evolution theory and other complex issues, all the short people have unfortunately been refused a Dutch passport and/or become German."
So, there you have it. Now I know I'm not the tallest in England but when you sit in a class full of young, Dutch women and you are the shortest there, then that starts to eat away at you...
One VERY, VERY important lesson to learn no matter which country you go to is to learn the words for push and pull, in, for example, the instructions of how to operate a door. There are terrible, terrible consequences for you if you don't learn these... For example, the word push in Dutch is 'duwen'. There is nothing about this word that tells you it means push and the helpful arrow next to it on the door could mean anything. So you are left well and truly alone here to make your decision.
Imagine: you're the first to go through the door with a row of people behind you, probably Dutch. You have to make a split-second decision. Do I push or do I pull? The choice is difficult because the doors here try to trick you. You never know if it's a pusher or a puller. The word for pull is 'trekken' which again leaves you clueless. So do you trek or do you duuw? Now what often happens to me is that I trek a duwer or I duuw a trekker. And that's not good. You look stupid and then you make a huffy puffy sound as if to say that it was the door's fault. Which in fairness it was as a) it wasn't open in the first place and b) it didn't make it blindlingly obvious of I should trek or duuw! Doors! Who needs 'em?
Changing topic completely, I would like to bring your attention to the wonders, or rather the simply completely mind-blowing complexity, of being in a German class with predominantly Dutch native speakers (with a few Germans who blatantly want to be just about anywhere else but in the class!)
Now the teacher speaks German, she is after all GERMAN. But the students... My lord! I don't know whether to speak German, Dutch, Chinese or Swahili. And trying to constantly change your mind set so that you can speak Dutch and German is just so freakin damned hard that I'm glad when the 90mins are over!! Honestly, it's like trying to tell the difference between semi-skimmed milk and full-fat milk just by looking at it. Impossible. And don't even get me started on my ability to speak German.... It gets more and more interesting by the day...!To round off, we'll talk politics. Now the political situation in the Netherlands is, well, interesting... Apparently nobody is running the country at the moment, the Queen's speech the other week was less than impressive and not actually written by her and to top that, some cheeky little bugger threw a little candle holder thing at her royal carriage whilst she was in it. Many things wrong with that. Firstly, why a candle holder when there are many, many more things which would do a lot more damage...! Secondly, why is everyone suddenly ganging up on the Queenie? Leave her alone! But I think there is a coalition now. I think. Or there will be one. Anyone actually know? The Dutch love to talk politics. Brilliant..!
So, I leave you now. I be back soon. Maybe baby.
Ciao
James
xXx
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