My New Hobby: Passive Smoking....

The course is rolling along smoothly and there are a few things which I believe I have perfected.

The first is the vital ability to just nod and look like you understood what was said by somebody, even though you didn’t actually understand anything after the word ‘Ik’. Accompanied with the agreeable sounding sounds of ‘aahhhhuuhhh’, ‘jaaaa’ and ‘hmmmm’, this is often a good way to stay in the conversation. This can also be followed by the all important ‘Get Out of Jail Free Phrase’ if you think the conversation has reached a critical point where you think you should interject: ‘ja, maar, nee, maar wat kan je doen/zeggen...’ (Yes, but, no, but what can you do/say...). This can sometimes also be accompanied with a shrug or the exaggerated continental exasperation with compulsory hand movements up into the air as if to suggest the whole world is about to end. Just do something. Looking confused is never good, so learn these international rules of communication and you shall survive. You could of course ask if they wouldn’t mind repeating what they said, but that’s far too easy.

The second skill which I have picked up in the last week is the ability to passive smoke. I am now an expert at this. However I still don’t understand why people smoke especially when there is HUGE sign on every packet that says ROKEN IS DODELIJK! (Smoking can kill) now, sense tells me that it’s probably best to stay away from something that is DODELIJK. But then again, everybody speaks English so why do I bother with all this language malarkey? Nothing to do with the proportion of men to women students here, which by the way is about 1:3. Nope, nothing to do with that whatsoever. Anyhow... Having never smoked and never really hung around with smokers whilst carrying out their hobby, my lungs are probably suffering a bit right now so I’m in my room taking a breather as it were ;) I like to think of smoking as a really rubbish sport. On the continent everybody is at it and when one finishes their cigarette, another comes along. It’s like a baton race, only not as healthy. What I do know is that I would be on my own for 3 weeks if I didn’t go and sit with the smokers! And most importantly ‘Niet-rokers sterven ook’ (Non smokers die too). Sobering thought.

Thirdly I’ve come up with a theory as to why the Netherlands doesn’t lie very much above sea level. Bread is served here with everything. Bread for breakfast, WITH NO BLOOMIN TOASTER?! Man alive! Sandwich for lunch followed by a bready compliment and finally a bread roll for starters at dinner time. Therefore, there must be lots of hugely fat people in the Netherlands who cannot come outside their houses. This is leading to the gradual sinking of the country and indeed the gradual world sea level rise. If you can prove I’m wrong, then so be it.

Now lastly I’ve learned that I’m not a morning person. Waking up at 7.45 every morning is proving to be a bit of a challenge and when it comes to breakfasting with everybody downstairs at 8 (yes, I get ready in 15mins ladies, you should try it. It’s great), words of any sort just do not form easily! A quick mutter of ‘goe morg’ and then afterwards the dramatic face which symbolises tiredness. If we could all agree to begin speaking at say 9, when I’ll be more than happy to talk to you, then that would be belissimo! Or perhaps I should go to bed earlier. Yes. Here I go :D

Until the next time, stay safe and speak Nederlands.

Alstublieft.

xXxXxXx

P.S. I’ll leave you with this inspirational thought: English cows go MOO! Dutch cows however appear to be confusing themselves with ghosts as they prefer to say BOOO!? This is actually true!

Many more snippets of wisdom to come so stay tuned!