Time for a Breather

My my. What a hectic time! I don’t think I’ve ever actually been so busy in my entire life and strange things are happening to my language capabilities. I’m not sure if you know, I may, or may not have mentioned it, BUT, I was ‘The best Germanic Studies Student’ at the end of Year 1 (as voted by the overwhelming majority of, well, the overwhelming majority..?!). However, now I can’t speak German to save my life. This is not good seeing as I’m also doing a German course here too! Believe me I’ve tried to speak to my good German buddies here but all that comes out are ‘ik’, ‘ben’ and ‘maar’ instead of ‘ich’, ‘bin’ and ‘aber’... So I feel like I’ve gone back about 4 years. Mindblowing... I’d rather speak in Dutch now! Sod der/die/das/denen/dessen/dem etc, just say ’de’ It’s amazing what 5 weeks does. Practically Johan Cruijff now. (If you don’t know who that is: Google)

So, what have I been up to? Perhaps easier to say what I’ve not been doing: sleeping. All day, everyday, it is party time! One problem though: I can’t physically take it anymore! I need a

holiday... Oh wait, I’m an ERASMUS student. Pretty much a holiday then ;) To the right you will see my lovely group mentors Gaby and Vincent! Hartelijk bedankt mensen :D

Here are a few things which are now getting quite on my t*ts after 5 weeks:

1. The Dutch transport company seem to make it as difficult as possible for you to actually buy a ticket. There a machines at every station. That’s great. However, what’s not great is that most of them don’t let you pay by coin. None of them take notes and you can’t use your foreign debit card to purchase them. Thus, this generates the greatest possibility as a newbie in Holland, that a nice inspector will come along and slap a hefty fine on you as you’ve got no ticket. It’s one-nil to the money grabbing company who also charge you 50 CENTS if you buy a ticket from a counter at a station!? Man alive!! You could get an OV chipkaart (type of Oyster card for my fellow Londoners) where they will also rinse you of €7.50 just to buy the thing... oh and if you forget to check out after finishing your journey, you’ll be shot or something. Wow, that was a rant and a half. I’ll give you that for free. In Holland, they’d probably charge you. (This experience is thanks to our very own Laura 'The first Brit to visit me' Barnes! Never travelling with that one again! What an absolute MARE!!!)
2. Next: Water. Yes that stuff which this country is finely balanced upon or under or whatever is in abundance here. It hasn’t stopped raining for about 2 weeks now and I’m getting worried as I live next to a river... anyhow, that wasn’t the point. Why do I have to PAY for water? Restaurants, cafés etc they’re all the same: that’ll be €2 please. SORRY! What?! Unbelievable.
3. Last one for this blog: Shops... Never open when you need something; never have what you need if they are indeed open and the prices are always wrong. And what sort of opening hours are 4pm – 8pm on a Sunday? Give me my 24 hour Tesco. Enough said.

Now for something more light-hearted. There is no oven in my kitchen?! I live a good 25 minute bike ride away from the university which is just so annoying. Now I really appreciate Sheffield Uni accommodation being so close. The quality of the accommodation here is also, erm, what’s the word.... erm, oh yeah: SHIT. It’s like living in a ghetto for international students. I like the way Nijmegen decides to just shove most of the foreigners across a bridge and a light year away from anything. I’m thinking apartheid here. My next conundrum is that I have no idea what I’m doing in terms of courses, which start tomorrow, and I’ve pretty much been told one of the courses I’m doing in Dutch, which is for actual Dutch students, is going to be almost impossible to pass. Great.

On the up side, there is an unlimited supply of Dutch and German TV, I can pass by the station everyday and pick up my free Metro Newspaper to keep my mind busy and there are many friendly Germans and Dutch people to talk a multitude of languages with. I really enjoy the music here. It’s like living 15 years ago, just classic after classic!! Oh and there is MORE: I’m going to play squash (YAY) and hopefully with Dutch people, I have a very helpful Dutch mentor who I can pester whenever and the beer is cheap.

It’s raining again... I’m going outside to assign everyone an ark

Zie je straks mensen :)

Don’t miss me too much and always ‘doe je best’

James

xXx

This chapter may well be over, but just like a good book, another one is about to begin....

The summer course is over. Three weeks just doesn’t seem enough. The people, the stories, the laughter, the LOL, the food and the memories; these moments will stay with me forever and will most definitely make me smile whenever I think back on them. There are many, many moments which were side-splittingly hilarious. The rather embarrassing but all the same rather amusing trouser splitting incident and subsequent falling-off-bike accident from a certain somebody was an absolute classic! The plethora of photos is on facebook from various people and if you haven’t already had a looky look, then look!!

But it’s over and I’ve learned so much and got SOOOO much paper and other stuff that it’s beyond belief! I’m now the proud owner of my first Jip en Janneke Book along with multiple over books which the beloved Nederlandse Taalunie planted in my hands :) Bedankt! The Goodbyes are always tough. I never can say goodbye. Saying 'tot ziens' to so many people was a little overwhelming. It's like losing the family goldfish. But this time, it's the whole treasured family aquarium which lies upon the shelly bottom of the tank. To sum it all up: You don't know what you've got till it's gone... Here is my ode to the zomercursus! It is a video so CLICK on the link :) Veel plezier

After the course, things just wouldn’t be the same again. After all, I’d have to start PAYING for things again!? No free ice cream tokens, free museum entry or travel.... Well and truly thrown back into the real world with
a THUMP.

And what a THUMP it was. Say hello to the distinctly coloured Steyn Hotel Zeist... The welcome was a bit dodgy, however, ‘as welcome you already find some coffee and tea in your room.’ Great... There also followed the promise of unlimited mussels for just 9 euros on Wednesday, which actually turned out to be 12 Euros. Great...

The hotel information book also does more harm than good where I’m made to believe that Steyn hotel is putting my well-being in ‘fronth’ and if I have any ‘defaults’ and ‘complains’ I should report them directly to the reception who will immediately try to find a ‘solusion’. Sounds like you need a translator... HALLO! ;)

Zeist is not a bad place. Just nothing here. So to resolve this I went all over the place to meet people from the course. Amsterdam, Amersfoort, Zwolle, Hilversum and others were on my hit-list. One problem here though: Trains are rather expensive! Gone are the days where I can purchase a £5 Travelcard for London and go anywhere in an area practically the same size as the Netherlands. Yes, looong gone. Ah well. Thank the lord for Lord Erasmus and his desire to dish out some dollar to little old me. Just hurry up yeh!

But one observation is that this entire country is obsessed with churches and bells!!!!!! From my room I know whether it is precisely 'on the hour', '15 mins over', 'half past' and finally 'quarter to'. And i'm not kidding, at 9am it starts. I'm awoken by a rendition of 'Bring back my bonnie to me' - The Church Bell Remix!

So tomorrow I’m off to Nijmegen in yet another hotel, getting ever closer to the crème de la crème of events: the start of the university season!! Then it really begins.

I’ll leave you with this thought. I made it up myself so it may not make much sense but we’ll see:

Every Story has a Beginning and End. I think I’m somewhere in chapter 2.

Till next time.

Stay warm and cuddle your neighbour.

James

xXx

My New Hobby: Passive Smoking....

The course is rolling along smoothly and there are a few things which I believe I have perfected.

The first is the vital ability to just nod and look like you understood what was said by somebody, even though you didn’t actually understand anything after the word ‘Ik’. Accompanied with the agreeable sounding sounds of ‘aahhhhuuhhh’, ‘jaaaa’ and ‘hmmmm’, this is often a good way to stay in the conversation. This can also be followed by the all important ‘Get Out of Jail Free Phrase’ if you think the conversation has reached a critical point where you think you should interject: ‘ja, maar, nee, maar wat kan je doen/zeggen...’ (Yes, but, no, but what can you do/say...). This can sometimes also be accompanied with a shrug or the exaggerated continental exasperation with compulsory hand movements up into the air as if to suggest the whole world is about to end. Just do something. Looking confused is never good, so learn these international rules of communication and you shall survive. You could of course ask if they wouldn’t mind repeating what they said, but that’s far too easy.

The second skill which I have picked up in the last week is the ability to passive smoke. I am now an expert at this. However I still don’t understand why people smoke especially when there is HUGE sign on every packet that says ROKEN IS DODELIJK! (Smoking can kill) now, sense tells me that it’s probably best to stay away from something that is DODELIJK. But then again, everybody speaks English so why do I bother with all this language malarkey? Nothing to do with the proportion of men to women students here, which by the way is about 1:3. Nope, nothing to do with that whatsoever. Anyhow... Having never smoked and never really hung around with smokers whilst carrying out their hobby, my lungs are probably suffering a bit right now so I’m in my room taking a breather as it were ;) I like to think of smoking as a really rubbish sport. On the continent everybody is at it and when one finishes their cigarette, another comes along. It’s like a baton race, only not as healthy. What I do know is that I would be on my own for 3 weeks if I didn’t go and sit with the smokers! And most importantly ‘Niet-rokers sterven ook’ (Non smokers die too). Sobering thought.

Thirdly I’ve come up with a theory as to why the Netherlands doesn’t lie very much above sea level. Bread is served here with everything. Bread for breakfast, WITH NO BLOOMIN TOASTER?! Man alive! Sandwich for lunch followed by a bready compliment and finally a bread roll for starters at dinner time. Therefore, there must be lots of hugely fat people in the Netherlands who cannot come outside their houses. This is leading to the gradual sinking of the country and indeed the gradual world sea level rise. If you can prove I’m wrong, then so be it.

Now lastly I’ve learned that I’m not a morning person. Waking up at 7.45 every morning is proving to be a bit of a challenge and when it comes to breakfasting with everybody downstairs at 8 (yes, I get ready in 15mins ladies, you should try it. It’s great), words of any sort just do not form easily! A quick mutter of ‘goe morg’ and then afterwards the dramatic face which symbolises tiredness. If we could all agree to begin speaking at say 9, when I’ll be more than happy to talk to you, then that would be belissimo! Or perhaps I should go to bed earlier. Yes. Here I go :D

Until the next time, stay safe and speak Nederlands.

Alstublieft.

xXxXxXx

P.S. I’ll leave you with this inspirational thought: English cows go MOO! Dutch cows however appear to be confusing themselves with ghosts as they prefer to say BOOO!? This is actually true!

Many more snippets of wisdom to come so stay tuned!